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uspol positive 

if fortnite is so great explain why there isn't a fortnite 2

“bro if we guess how many laces [are in the jar] we’re gonna get wasted”

“we’re gonna get lace-ted”

“you blink [while gaming] bro?”

“yeah, I gamer blink”

“I’ll take a quick look at this PDF about PDFs on my phone”

hooooly shit just saw a new building called

“Grovehaus”

the windows weren’t super mismatched though

bonzoesc boosted

Imagine, its xmas 2005, someone in your family gifts you a big-headed vinyl figurine of Iron Man, because you said in passing that you liked the movie. It's a cute toy! You put it on your mantle and thank them

Valentines day 2006 shows up, your partner remembers how much you enjoyed your xmas gift and gets you another to go along with it. You appreciate it, but dont love it, but you maybe try and oversell how much it means to you.

Friends come over throughout the year and they notice your budding collection and make note...you're the funko pop guy now

Your birthday,
Your anniversary
Every friend
Every relative
Every holiday

You know what's in every gift, those transparent white cubes
Those beady little eyes staring back at you

Are you anything other than an amalgamation of the pop culture you consume? Are you anything at all? You do your best, but you know you're not special. Does that mean you dont deserve to be happy? This is all you are distilled down to your loved ones

Wednesday evening

brought to you by free-associating against the latest “I Don’t Even Own A Television” episode

you never really appreciate opposable thumbs until you cut your thumb

I wouldn't mess with a guy who puts a bunch of whipped cream in their iced coffee.

I hope you wouldn't mess with a guy who puts a bunch of whipped cream in their iced coffee either.

like, domesticated co2, not free-range co2

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bonzoesc zone

this is my personal mastodon instance